One year ago today, February 25th, 2014, our son was born. We don’t know what exact time he was born or what his first moments in this world were like, in fact, during his first 2.5 weeks of life we were at home, putting the finishing touches on a nursery and praying that the Lord would protect him, comfort him and sustain him, wherever he may be. The Lord heard our prayers, and on March 14th, Joel and I brought a healthy baby boy home from the hospital. The question of how long he would be ours loomed with each month that has passed since that day. However, today we celebrate his first birthday with the possibility that this little boy could become ours forever-a permanent part of our family. For this we praise God and pray that it would indeed be a reality sooner than later.
However, as we joyfully celebrate his life today and I write a letter to him as his mommy, my heart can’t help but ache as I think about his birth mom. One year ago today, she brought him into this world and held him for the first time. Today, he is in my arms, I am his mommy, and her arms are empty. I don’t know whether or not she is thinking about this today but my heart hurts for her and as I thank God for giving me a son, I am also grieving with her over the loss of a son. I ask you to please join me in praying for her today that God would comfort her and help her, and most importantly, save her through His son Jesus Christ.
My dear little buddy,
I can hardly believe a year has passed since daddy and I walked into the hospital and first laid eyes on your wrinkly little face and your curious little eyes. I exclaimed to the nurse, “Is this him!?”, and as she handed you to me, I immediately fell in love.
Your daddy and I had been praying for you long before we met you-we prayed that God would keep you safe and comfort you. We prayed that He would bring you to us and that we would be able to have you in our family forever. Little did we know, on February 25th, 2014, the Lord was bringing you safely into this world and 2 ½ weeks later, on March 14th, safely into our arms and home. I wish the time in between had not been so long-you had a hard first couple of weeks in this world. You were sick and cried a lot because you did not feel good but the Lord gave you strength and helped you to get better much more quickly than most babies your size. God is good and hears prayers! You are an answer to our prayers-we praise God for every moment we have with you, yes, even the moments in the middle of the night when you aren’t so pleasant and we can’t figure out what you need. These moments have been quite frequent lately as your teeth come in. You have six of them now and I think number 7 and 8 are soon to follow!
You are a curious and adventurous little boy. Your favorite time of day (besides bath time) is when daddy gets home from work. You instantly turn into a wild man and aren’t satisfied until he is rolling around and wrestling with you on the living room floor.You are into everything and spend most of your days tearing things apart in one room and then crawling on to another room to see what you can destroy next.
When you tire of exploring the house, you walk your little hands up my legs to be picked up. You are quite interested in anything I am doing in the kitchen, and though it is much more difficult to cook or unload the dishwasher while holding you in one arm, I do my best because I love to kiss your cheeks while you stare intensely at whatever I am doing. As much as I love chasing you around the house, I cherish the times you sit still, snuggling with me to read books. You love to read! Your current favorites are The Very Hungry Catepillar, I Ain’t Gonna Paint No More, and Polar Bear, Polar Bear, What Do You Hear?.
You are a sweet big brother to your little sister, Finley. You don’t quite understand the concept of being gentle with her yet so you often try to grab her face or poke her in the eye which she doesn’t love but she does enjoy when you play with her toes and give her kisses by licking her forehead. You don’t like being left alone in the living room, but if Fin is close by, you don’t seem to mind anymore. I love watching you two enjoy each other’s company. I pray you would become good friends and that you would always seek to protect your little sister.
I love you my sweet boy and I ask God every day that He would let me be your mommy forever. I wish I could promise you that I will be here to celebrate your birthdays in the years to come, to hold you when you tire, to read you books, to teach you to read yourself, and protect you as you discover the world around you, but I can’t. I can promise you though that you have a heavenly Father who, if you trust in Him, will never leave or forsake you and will protect you all the days of your life. I pray that you would grow up to know Him as your heavenly Father and to trust in His son Jesus who died to save you from your sins. He made you, He loves you and He has good and perfect plans for your life. Happy first birthday buddy. You are a deeply loved little boy and we praise God today for giving you life!